Date #4 – The Usual

I had high hopes for this one.  We talked on the phone briefly before meeting and we seemed to get along pretty well.  He’s the physical type I find attractive, seems to be successful at work and we had stuff in common.  He lives in town but on the other side.  When trying to come up with a place to meet he didn’t make a suggestion so being the thoughtful person I am, I suggested a spot close to him.  It doesn’t occur to me to think that will be a lot of work for me because who cares?  I’m willing to make the effort.  It’s not a plane ride away, just a few extra blocks.  What also does not occur to me is that it’s going to be frigidly cold and therefore difficult to find a cab at the appropriate time.  When I realize I’m going to have to walk, I let him know I’m going to be late because it’s at least a 20 minute walk (actually longer).  His response “ok thanks”.

It takes 25 minutes of the 30 minute walk for me to ask myself “why didn’t he suggest a closer place, somewhere we could meet half way”?  I would have done that.  I don’t know why I didn’t think that sooner but now I’m a little annoyed.

Annoyed is not really a good way to meet someone for the first time.  I get there and he is already at the bar and has not saved me a seat.  He does, however, get up and let me sit, which is a plus.  I’ve discovered lately that I’m a lot more old fashioned than I thought.  A man should always give up his seat, in my opinion.  Yes, maybe that is a hypocritical way of thinking as I think men and women should be equal in every other way.  But I never claimed to be perfect.

Finally someone next to us leaves and he sits as well.  What’s worth mentioning is that he is super nervous.  Which makes me even more nervous and doesn’t make for a very smooth initial meeting.  There’s lots of talking over each other, bumping into each other etc.  Just, bad.

Eventually we both relax (3 drinks probably helps a lot with that) and it’s ok.  But it’s not great.  It’s the best conversation so far but we are talking about the same things I talk about with everyone else I know.  Which summer house we’ve been in, who we both know in town, what places we’ve gotten the drunkest at.  The Usual.  This is the same guy I meet every summer, in a different package.  Is it comforting? Yes.  Would I like to find someone who has the same interests and experiences as me? Sure.  But that’s not enough.  I want someone who challenges my limits, someone I can learn from and grow with.  I’m not feeling that will be the case here.

Now perhaps I’m being a little too picky or gun-shy.  I admit I’m quicker to find a reason to NOT date someone than the alternative.

I eventually call it a night because we don’t have much more to talk about and I haven’t eaten dinner so one more drink and things could get ugly.  And that’s really that.  We say goodbye, quick kiss on the cheek and I walk 30 minutes home in the freezing cold, thoroughly underwhelmed and slightly discouraged.

 I know it’s only the 4^th date but patience is not something I have an abundance of.