Date #1 – The Sleeper

This guy seems cool.  Age 40, never married, attorney, geographically desirable…..solid start.  Best part, he texts.  I guess I’m a bit of an aberration when it comes to my preferred forms of communication.  I like to text and email, do not like to talk on the phone.  Something about talking to dead air is very nerve wracking.  And I suck at it.  So, points for setting up the whole date on text.  And banter.  Points for fun texting banter.

The WORST part about online dating is the actual act of meeting for the first time.  The “I’m so and so are you blah blah?”.  So very awkward!!  What if he doesn’t look like his picture, what if he’s not really 6 feet tall and I’m wearing 4 inch heels, what if, what if, what if??

As a person who is capable of imagining the worst in every scenario, the constant “what if” plays in my head as I walk from my office to meet date #1.  I’m literally panicking with anticipation.  Whose idea was this anyway?  Anything, anything! Would be more fun than what I’m experiencing at this very moment.

Then, as I’m standing on the corner waiting to cross the street, I think I see him walk by.  YES! Panic instantly subsides when I know I can spot him easily as soon as I walk in the door of the restaurant we’re meeting at.

Until I get to the door, look through the window and see him……….talking to a different girl?!?! WHAT? Does this really happen??  As quickly and naturally as is possible I take my hand off the door handle and do an “about face” around the block to figure out what to do next.

As I’m wondering aimlessly, he sends a text message saying “I’m here, at the back bar”.  Ok, I must have misjudged.  Wrong person.  Back to the entrance, stride through the door, walk to the back bar and see……..the same guy now assisting the same girl into a seat. 

 WHAT the F*Ck?!?! 

Who does this, what kind of sick, twisted people join these on line dating sites??  I’m leaving, that’s it, I am done with this!!!  Until I turn my head slightly to the left of this couple and see  -  my date, the guy I’m actually there to meet.  Sitting alone and waiting patiently.  

And we begin again.  Unfortunately, the excitement of figuring out who he was and where he was sitting is far more than that of the actual date.  This guy is virtually asleep on his feet.  Kind of reminds me of how I felt when I took a combination of valium and codeine before having my wisdom teeth removed.  Content and happy, but not able to form full sentences.  His response to everything is “Oh. Yeah.  Pause.  Stare”.  Although I’m not an expert conversationalist, I can hold my own in most situations.  This feels like I’m dragging a buggy on my back like one of those poor horses in Central Park.  Not fun and not worth a couple less hours of sleep.  One drink and 30 minutes later I explain I have to get up early and leave as gracefully as possible.  Which is not as easy as one would think.

Not everything I dreamed it would be but definitely not a total failure.  There were some lessons learned.  

1.  Don't jump to conclusions. 

2.  Personality is way more important than looks.  Yes, we should all know this by now but it

      doesn't hurt to have a reminder now and then.

Next up….40ish guy from the ‘burbs who needs to talk on the phone to feel “connected.”  Right up my alley – should be good (that’s a little sarcasm)….