This is awful. I’m
going on record as being an awful person who says awful things about nice
people. I apologize in advance but I
promised I’d be 100% honest, with myself, with the men I date and with you
reading.
This man looked like a walking corpse and it was very
distracting. Look, I do believe I can be
attracted to someone who wouldn’t be considered “attractive” to the general
public. Been there, done that. But it was not going to happen here. I was not all that excited about him at first
but after we chatted for a bit I thought, why not. He seems like a nice person. Did not fit the exact demographic I think I’m
looking for but, do things ever work out exactly as planned? No. So I figured, why not give it a shot.
As soon as I saw him, I knew it was a no. I think though, it had more to do with my
insecurities than his lack of standard attractive qualities. I’ve mentioned before I’m a tall girl. That’s tall as in definitely not 95 pounds
but not overweight either. I think I had
to outweigh this guy by at least 30 pounds and I’m just not ever going to be
comfortable with that. At least I don’t
think so, stranger things have happened.
I remember his profile saying specifically “I look like my pictures” (he
didn’t) and “I’m really my height” (he wasn’t)
I believe I was significantly taller than him, or it felt like it
anyway.
On top of these things, he was extremely, how shall I say
it, feminine. Way more girly than
me. But I’m not being fair leading with
all of the superficial things because the more we got to talking, the more I
realized he was a super nice, good person.
And I had a pleasant time with him.
He chose a very nice place and paid for an expensive meal for which he would
not let me contribute. We had nice
conversation. He was funny and intelligent,
completed a very prestigious marathon and a couple of other obstacle course
type races. I’m realizing more and more
how little I actually have conversations with the people in my life. We’re friends, we have fun together but we
don’t really talk. It was nice to have
someone to really talk to who listened and had worthwhile things to say in
return. I enjoyed it. Unfortunately there was absolutely no
physical attraction on my part. And if I’m
being honest, I think the lack of attraction was probably mutual.
But it was still worth going.
So I was out last night with a friend and one of her male
friends (who I had oddly enough happened to cross paths with in a very
serendipitous fashion) and we talked about my dating experiences and blog a
little bit. He said something that I’ve
been trying to process all day. I forget
the exact wording but it was something along the lines of, if he knew a girl
was dating a lot, he probably wouldn’t be as interested in getting to know
her. It’s a little frustrating to hear
something like that because what am I supposed to do, sit home and wait for Mr.
Right to materialize on my couch? At the same time, I think he probably has a
point, as much as I may not like it. Men
are not always logical creatures. I’m
wondering if maybe I should start being a little more selective now that I’ve
gotten to a running start. Quality over
quantity. Any thoughts on this?
I think that is a decision only you can make. The point of this was to "throw enough spaghetti" so if you dial it down, that defeats the purpose. BUT, that doesn't mean you can't be a little more selective. It does get exhausting and you don't want to burn out. Or you could make a rule of meeting for drinks to keep the dates short, in case you feel trapped with someone you have zero interest in. I get the whole quality over quantity, but without quantity you might not find quality. And aren't you learning a lot about yourself (and guys in general) by this process? Keep at it and try to have fun!
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