Date #7 - The Renaissance Man - Part 2

Second Date – Having Second Thoughts

I wake up Saturday morning with that feeling that something’s not quite right.  I can’t say for sure what it is exactly but I’m feeling unsettled.  A couple hours later I get a text from Mr. Renaissance declaring what a great time he had last night and can’t wait to see me to tomorrow etc etc, would I like to see a movie up in the burbs?  Hmmm.  Normally I love the area he lives in. I have a good friend that I love to visit up there.  I’m just not convinced it’s a good idea to trap myself in a semi-strange area with this guy, without a car.  He’d have to pick me up from the train, I’d be trapped in his truck and could end up anywhere and not be able to do a thing about it.  My rule is I have to be pretty certain you’re not going to chop me up into a hundred pieces and stuff me into a suitcase before I agree to be in a secluded area with you.  Not there just yet.

So I answer that I’d love to see a movie but skip the part about where figuring I can think of something in the meantime.  While out with friends that evening I discuss with a male friend and he correctly says “If you go up there, he’s expecting you to stay over”.  Not happening.  So I decide to tell him I’m more comfortable meeting in neutral territory at least once more before packing my overnight bag and he agrees, no questions asked.  Good.

Being the city expert of this operation, I research the when and where of our movie choice and send him the coordinates and two time choices.  His response, “Sound good.  Don’t know what time yet”. 

Ok, so, this is where I start to get annoyed.  You don’t know what time yet? You can’t decide between two time choices that are less than 5 hours away, or suggest a time that does work,  and I therefore have to sit around and wait (you’ll remember from a previous post how much I love that).  I contemplate canceling throughout the day while waiting and then he calls to explain he was out with family buying Christmas trees blah blah blah so, fine.  We choose a time and I get on the train into the city.  Still, though, with a nagging sense of uncertainty.

The movie theater I chose was in the most crowded, tourist laden area of town but he still manages to pick me out of the throng of people I’m navigating through and lean in for a kiss.  And I turn my head and give him my cheek.  Reflex, I can’t help it.  Strike one for me.

I say "Nice to see you".  He replies, "Yeah I didn't realize it was going to take three hours out of my day to come down here".  It was an hour and a half, it was just about the same for me, what you're really not happy about is that I'm not tied up in your closet right now.

Anyway, he’s already purchased the movie tickets, which is nice and asks if I’d like any refreshments.  Not really but I say yes anyway because, well, I’m not really sure.  I feel like I’ll be disappointing him if I don’t.  I order popcorn and he’s adamant that he wants a Coke.  Ok fine, a Coke too.  I don’t drink soda but whatever, compromise.  We get to the seats and I pick at the popcorn a little and he dives into the soda.  He offers me some, I refuse it and he gives me this, like, exasperated look as if I begged him for soda and am now not drinking it.  Dude, I don’t want your soda, get over it!

All this while he has a back pack with him because he’s staying at his sisters in the city afterward.  Totally reasonable, until he mentions he has a bottle of rum in there for his morning coffee.  His Monday morning, before he goes to his job I still don’t understand, coffee.  What?!  And then he offers to spike our Coke at the movie theater.  So that would explain the importance of the soda.

At this point I’m about done but we’re here now, I’m looking forward to the movie and we really don’t have to talk for the next 2 hours.  Or so I thought.  I’m one of those people who like to go to a movie and actually pay attention to said movie.  As soon as the previews start, it’s time to stop talking and start listening.  Not for my date apparently.  He whisper talks through every preview, which so happen to be my favorite part of the movie experience, aside from the movie itself.  Of course I can’t hear a word he’s saying so have to keep saying “What?” so that he then has to repeat whatever annoying thing he just said and I’m nearing anger.  It can’t get much worse than this, I think.

Until he puts his arm around my shoulders.  I’m a tall girl and my torso is particularly long so for him to put his arm around me he has to sort of reach up and over my head and then leave his very heavy arm basically hanging around my neck.  I’m clearly physically uncomfortable, close to in pain and he asks “Is this comfortable?” NOOOOO!!! I want to scream but manage to calmly say “I’m sorry no it’s not”.  He’s clearly offended and this is just getting better and better.  Strike two for me.

He tries to hold my hand but I think he knows at this point I’ve already checked out and gives up about 5 minutes in.  As the movie progresses I feel myself inching further and further away in my seat until my head is resting on the seat back next to me.  If I could have moved over to the next seat, I would have.

Finally the movie is over, I just want to go home but then feel this excruciating wave of I don’t even know what, but I feel awful for being a kind of a jerk and agree to do some holiday touristy stuff with him (after I refuse his 3^rd invitation to go back to the apartment for a drink).  We walk and talk and he says “So remember when I grabbed your butt the other night, I was surprised I didn’t get a reaction to that.  You know, I just want to keep it light and fun” or something equally idiotic.  Seriously?  Seriously?!?  And we, for real, have a 5 minute discussion about why I didn’t jump, or give him a flirty slap on the arm or laugh and blush at the same time or, WHATEVER!! WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS? You want a reaction? How about a punch in f*cking face?

Needless to say I don’t feel awful about leaving anymore but he puts the final touches on this semi-epic collapse when he says he’s not going into the office first thing in the morning because he has to finish up chopping wood in his sisters yard.  Nice.  So I say “What you’re telling me is you’re going to get up have a leisurely breakfast along with your rum and coffee, go chop wood and then maybe think about working?”  The look on his face implies that’s strike three for me.

Because I like to be fair and give full disclosure, he did pay for my cab back to the train.  Not before grabbing me and fiercely telling me to “make sure I kiss him on the lips the next time I see him”.  

As if there will be a next time, Creeper!!

Back to the drawing board…..