I've been slacking on the blogging.....but my good friend did a little writing about a "situation" he had today and it inspired me. And I need some encouragement friends! My negative thoughts are starting to spiral.
The positive - I've been promoted at work (a blessing and a curse), finished a 3 day juice cleanse that immediately changed my eating (and drinking) habits for the better, essentially overnight. I'm back in my routine at the gym, my apartment is clean and I'm feeling accomplished and productive.
The negative - I've been promoted at work. I'm grateful, proud and have earned it but it's HARD. I sometimes come home feeling as if I have no soul left.
And, I haven't been dating much. I think I might be starting to feel lonely. This is a foreign feeling for me. I enjoy my alone time, am usually very active and always find new ways to entertain myself. This has not changed but nothing feels satisfying. Almost as if I'm doing things for the sake of doing them but getting no real enjoyment or fulfillment. It's a frustrating feeling and I'm not a fan. And I'm tired. I just want to lay my head down for a couple of days and let someone else do all the thinking. Problem - I don't have a someone else.
So, what now? I'm usually good at talking myself out of the funks but as with everything else, it gets harder the older I get. Does anyone else feel this way? I'd love to hear your thoughts if you do.
Ok - back to the dating. I have gone on two dates recently. One was with a man who just turned 50 - the age wasn't a problem for me, the amount of botox and work he'd had done to his face was. A BIG problem. It was disturbing for lack a more appropriate word. There wasn't a hair follicle or pore to be scene. I could barely look him straight in the face. I hate to be so thrown off by something so small but UGH. I mean, a little nip or tuck here or there, go for it but this was just over the top and unnecessary. The shame of it all was he would have been a very attractive man if he'd just let himself age gracefully. We were definitely not a match, I'm lucky to put foundation and a little mascara on before I leave the house for work...
The other date was with a guy who grew up in the city and still lives there in one of my favorite areas. He works for a hedge fund but wasn't a typical douchebag finance guy. We met for dinner at a cool little local place and had fun. Went to a different place after for a drink....alluded to seeing each other again, had a good kiss goodnight and I left happy and hopeful. Definitely could see this one going somewhere. Until I never heard from him again. This was the first time I've felt disappointed when one of these online guys didn't follow through. Not devastated but my ego is definitely a little bruised.
I think maybe a break from life will do me a little good. I'm in one of those moods where I hate everyone and everything, which should bode well for the 4 day trip I'm about to embark on with my MOTHER. Pray for me to have the strength to just keep my mouth SHUT for once.
There is another prospect that I've been chatting with a bit........so updates on the next fruitless effort to come after I return from New Orleans this weekend ;)
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